When I applied for this Fellowship, it was February in Chicago: a deep, dark, and soul sucking time of year. As much as I heart Chi-town, that's about the month where I give up and say "I am never doing this again, I'm done, I hate it here, get me the heck out!" So I move to a country where there is the rainy season, and the dry season. When I got the job in May, I thought to myself "Well Mr. Winter, time to take that long walk off that short pier once and for all!" And now...well...the grass is always greener.
I miss Fall. I miss scarves and long sleeved jean jackets, boots, and cardigans. I miss the trips to the knitting shops with Sandra (Arcadia!) to buy yarn for my yearly project, booking a flight to Oregon for Thanksgiving, pumpkin carving, Halloween parties, baking cookies, and the general feeling of a city stocking its shelves for the long winter up ahead. Chicago comes together in the fall. People are walking the crisp streets, enjoying the last few days at the Lake, going to the last few restaurants that still have outdoor seating, drinking the fall beers at the local watering hole (Ok, I'll admit, I never finished my beer, but I gave it a good try).
While I'm typing this, however, I could not be further away from the feeling I grew up with associated with school supplies, new clothes, new books, and hot apple cider. My front door currently lays wide open in front of me, letting in the 80 degree breeze. Butterflies flutter in my back garden, the trees out there desperately needing me to water them, the air conditioning cooling my bedroom into a hazy, cozy temperature perfect for burrowing under the covers with a book. I am wearing a t-shirt and cut off jeans, no shoes, hair pulled away from my neck. It's October, but I'm stuck in a terminal June.
I've always been the type to learn the lesson by actually living it. And so I admit that yes, I like cooler weather, I like coats, and perhaps, maybe, a small part of me even likes February in Chicago. Perhaps only because for the first time in 8 years, I won't be living it. This is, in fact, the first time in my life I'll be missing a winter altogether. Never ever thought I'd long for a season I used to loathe. There's still a good chance, if I do come home for the holidays, that I will long for Indonesia just the same, while the wind bites at my ears and freezes my fingers. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
Wow! How funny! I was thinking along the exact same lines today as I rode home in my bentor past the rice paddies and palm trees. I was thinking about how much I longed to wear a cozy sweater on a crisp fall day in New York :-)
ReplyDeleteWow Cuz, I am in wonder at the experience you currently are living. Such a huge learning experience. This post in particular reminded me of a friend I still occasionally email who is from New Zealand. For 10 years he worked the NZ winter and then the Vail winters and missed the Summer season every year. Interesting for sure.
ReplyDeleteHello, This is Becca (Sally's daughter). I have missed you, I wish that we could get a big family reuinion together so I could see everyone again. Maybe we could even go horseback riding again.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, about missing witnter. I have a love/hate realtionship with it so I can understand where your coming from.I wish I had a summer home somewhere nice, but still had the option of coming home when I missed making snow angels with my little sister.
We can never have all that we want though and sometimes we have to choose between the things we need and the things we want. I wish I was there to give you a hug, and maybe bring you a cooler full of the snow that is falling today.lol
Anyhow I am off to look for a job, again. You should call me sometime if you can. Email me at Elphaba.Lives85@gmail.com and I will give you my number.
Tons of love and snowy thoughts for you,
Becca